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Terrifying New Cancer Symptom In The Night

I seemed to wake suddenly being choked by the phlegm in my throat and I start coughing it out with big noises as if I am drowning on dry land …

Stefania rouses from sleep and tries to hold and comfort me, saying lie down Strephon … we already have me propped on pillows on the right side so the tumor is not crushing into my chest with its weight.

However I am trying to sit up in the night air … this all happening around 5 AM in the morning … the only position I want to sit up in is vertical on the bed. I seem to be fighting Stefania in this who seems to be trying to calm me down.

However, when I am being flooded by phlegm I can’t exactly calm down … It’s not a mind control thing … the cancer symptom symptoms are scary and new … I am weak besides … and I don’t know what I can do to survive this attack.

Finally, Stefania leaves me on my own. She has been woken from sleep … she goes to work in a few hours … she doesn’t know what to do … she is ineffective from her point of view … I have to find my own way … I have a new cancer experience to deal with … I did not take the extra DEX before bed as I should have … it’s my decision alone now … is there a clear way forward out of this suffering? … what if nothing works right now? What do we do? Call in the doctors?

I try for something else … the only new position is sitting upright on the bed. This I do and no more blockage of phlegm … After testing for five minutes in upright position it all seems to be working … I pull myself upright and go to the toilet … everything still working! … I have found the one way open to me, the solution.

The Life Principle to use here is: there is a solution to every problem if you can open to the problem itself.

So far then working … I can now walk slowly and get to my bathrobe and slippers, leaving Stefania to sleep, for she goes to work today on Monday Morning.

I walk slowly to the kitchen to make little cream cheese bites to eat on dark bread. I drink orange juice out of the refrigerator … so far going well … no indigestion coming up … I get my banana out of the frig … I am going to take my medications now.

Dex, edema pill, anti acid pill, pain killer pill … I sit here writing this all down.

When I was a boy at boarding school they had a horrible practice of having the boys and girls who wet their beds wash themselves in tubs and their sheets, this is front of the other 25 children who did not wet the bed. I would wake in the night and rub my pee sheet dry so as not to be embarrassed. It often worked. Thus I became a ‘night worker.’

My non-ability not to wet my bed ended at age 12. Perhaps with my hormone change and having nice erections to play with I at last found something positive about myself in life and strength and hope for more than a suffering life came to me. And I was stronger in ego so that I could differentiate myself from the Great Ocean of the Unconscious.

Now at the ending of my life I am again dealing with what happens in the night sleep when ego let’s go of control.

I said to Stefania last night: I fear the night.

And I do!

Yet right now I am sitting stable in my computer chair and writing this out to see more what happened to me and how it works now.

I must place the bad hours against the good and see how that all is working.

Need To Buy A Good Assist Walker For Strephon

This week we try and buy with yet no available money one of those walkers that help old people walk better. Hopefully we can get it soon.

The walker will help me in the house because walking with it means I don’t have to be careful of falling over sideways since part of this cancer is also bodily balance weakness as well as general weakness.

A Big Reason For A Donation Now

We are asking for donations or some help somewhere in a gesture to counteract our poverty status.

So using the walker in the house, and maybe outside will help stabilize me and give me more movement to exercise me as well.

It’s a good kind of gift because needed … it’s just needed as a positive thing in cancer life for me now.

There is a donation spot on the front page of the blog.

Now is when money is most effective as a need for us.

related post

• Strephon I Am Affirmations
• Strephon's Cancer Health Report August 1, 2009
• What Makes For A Strong Character Or Personality?
• Spiritual Aikido Strephon Demos Flowing Sword Principle In Action
• Strephon is ready to go