Strephon Is Really Dying Says The Main Doctor Oct 15 2009
Strephon Is Dying According To Doctor’s Evaluation Oct 15 2009
To My Friends and (difficult people for me)
The old professor is being called away from his purpose and life so is saying goodbyes now as the best thing to do, even if the treatments and intervention by Source send the cancer into remission and not me.
- I have given you fair warning, as well as my wife and friends. I do no more but respond as I can to some of you.
Your comments will be available to others during and after I die, since by posting you give us, Stefania, that right to the posted comment and to use what we choose in the Cancer Dying and Living Book I keep writing into from blog posts.
- Please do not write me personal emails anymore or cause me stress in any way.
- Please be as positive-real as you can be with me so as not to cause me stress.
- Please do not load our comments section with surface, goodbye notes. We just have to take them off comment areas and that takes work, taking my valuable dying time that I have to be positive and write at the same time I am dying.
- Only sincere, insightful and intelligent comments please (you decide.) Look at the comments already posted, which all seem to have these qualities in abundance, plus compassion.
- Please make suggestions if you have them of the three or so most valuable blog entries to you if you want to make this contribution to Strephon’s Cancer Book that he is filling now with blog entries.
Today’s Doctor’s and Nurse’s Report On My Cancer Condition In Brief
They have consulted, read the specialist files with x-ray and scan reports, as well as looked at me, the doctor on Wednesday.
Conclusion: I am indeed far advanced in the tumor’s activity. It is most likely still in the ascendancy, and indeed I feel the symptoms I cope with on the increase. It now takes a number of hours a day dealing with my cancer symptoms. Both like going to the dentist and normal routines, like taking over an hour to completely shower.
Don’t have hope in having a cure in this advanced state or from being injected with Iscador twice a week. On the positive side: all over Germany they always give the Iscador to anyone who enters the hospital for anything.
Another positive is that Iscador might even prolong my useful life three months.
I have chosen to have some free hours each day to write, as well as to stay as active and strong as possible writing. Don’t send in volunteers or specialists in my mornings please, or if they are just observers that report if something is going wrong with me, no interactions please unless I request them. Let me keep as many personal purpose times as possible. But also say what time your specialists need as part of the supportive health team carrying out the doctors treatment plan.
I am now granted complete coverage with at least an observer day and night who can report emergencies.
The most likely crisis will be massive internal bleeding. In the lungs this leads usually to almost instant death and does not seem to be painful. Massive bleeding in the belly, if it happens may last longer and then I am medicated to sleep through it which lasts four days and nights and they can take me to the hospital and do support treatment if I am not already dead.
I also asked the nurse to check again that I officially have chosen not to be put on life support or resuscitated if a crisis develops. I want to die in peaceful conditions where I can have whatever experiences might come my way when I am dying a more or less non-invasive and peaceful death.
I want when possible to complete saying goodbye to certain friends, and especially my wife, Stefania. But not at the expense of doctors doing interventions to keep me alive at all costs. This checking really helps because all the support team, including the experts are making mistakes. I record most of the big ones or put them on my daily lists to talk about with the right people who made the mistakes.
Today I asked the nurse who came as the doctor’s ‘right arm.’ to check the automatically made up medicine pacts. She said she put in the formulas herself. I said please check that they came out right. That the pharmacy got it right also. She checked and found a possible mistake that she will check on, which is 6 mg 4 times a day. She promised to check if this is the right dose because it seemed too much to her. So checking and double checking does work. I said I don’t want to be killed by my medicines. Any questions or comments reply please only on this blog entry. End of Summary.
Second Summary: I really could die now at any moment from massive internal hemorrhage, indicate the doctors.
They are getting ready the procedures for this next stage. I may well get my oxygen tomorrow which might help me stabilize and put extra oxygen in my blood which cancer cells do not like. Cancer cells do not grow in highly oxygenated blood. The doctors use of inhaling oxygen is to give me more oxygen so that I am not stressing out and panting for air.
So please say in comments what you are ready to say for me in case of am dying real soon. Also try not be sentimental, which is creating or going with emotions created out of past experience and not present moments. Don’t make me process with you. It takes my energy. But also say your say. The line between the difference is what you determine for yourself and me.
Yes, I am a teacher and a writer. I instruct where I feel I have to for my limits and goals, like please do not be negative or invasive with me because that causes stress for me now, and I just have to cut you off.
Compassion And Other Things
Compassion helps my state of being. But compassion is one quality you cannot create for someone else out of your ego. Compassion is only there if you are already practicing it and trying your best not to be negative or causing stress for other people. This is a recent discovery for me because of this trip through Cancer Land. I knew it before but I did not always, or very much practice it, and so have hurt people as well as helped them, and enjoyed the company we did have together.
Of course I write also my Cancer Book to teach people ready for it not to stress people out in life, even if you feel right to do so. Find other non invasive ways to express your suffering and relationship issues.
If you are imperfect and make mistakes, as I have found from the doctor on down to members of the helping and health team. They have bad habits that hurt their job performance. I don’t attack these people but do give feedback, what I need, and consequences to me from their bad habits or lack of knowledge. Thus they are given the effects on the patient (me). I also create neutral coping ways to handle things.
Some of you emailing or commenting with me in dialogs have give wonderful and positive feedback of your own which has helped raise my spirits, but also cope better about my current cancer experiences.
One person I confronted on recent behavior that caused me extra difficult stress, I asked her to follow a couple of procedures not to do what she did again if possible.
From her side she said she was in the habit of being a certain way. I said back that maybe she can learn from helping me by practicing being more aware of her behavior with me, and at work, and just remember to be careful with that habit at work and then at home do whatever you want to do in freedom to express yourself. But at work I need not to be caused stress. It is a good skill to have and will help raise your effectiveness for better more effective work. Some things you are doing well and so have the ability to learn new skills, at least for work.
Another important member of the health team confessed to me lightly that she did not like or own a cell phone. I said back that at that first meeting with her her mistakes were both not remembering or writing down the number of our new apartment. And she said she had forgotten her cell phone. But the confession was more truthful. She did not like and refused to own a cell phone. The little white lie! I said back,
Maybe just buying the cell phone for making you more effective at work will be enough structure to feel free? But the reality is everyone is using cell phones and they do make themselves more effective in communicating with others and easier getting tasks done that are in their job role. Your having two mistakes at once at first lose confidence in you, and that is stressful to me. However, I really appreciated that you lost half and hour finding me here but also you persisted and found me, then you also stayed on to give me competent information which I asked for and that made me feel confident and less stress-more secure.
Please share with me your own feelings and affirmations as you feel for doing so only in a Comments section on my blog: www.strephonsays.com/blog/
I may be able to comment back, or not comment back.
My purpose-guided life is now moved to be on my blog.
Please for regular commentators, make contact with each other if you feel this is useful, or simply wait until the event of my death. If you feel it useful now, then while I am still alive I can join the comment chain with you?
Please remember: by giving comments, under your own or a user name, you are giving permission to Stefania and the ‘gone me’ to publish your comments, or parts we select, not only on the blog, and in a book Strephon is currently writing, made of useful or important blog entries. Comments are published in the book anonymously, and with your name listed at the end if you give clear permission to do so. Either anonymously or real name and background, or user name and background. Work it out with Stefania, of course.
Do not write ‘for looking good on the blog or in my cancer book. That will be artificial and I am trying to present the reality picture of my dying of cancer.
The Other Exciting Thing about this Cancer Book is that it is like reality TV maybe where the truth of what is happening now is presented in written blog entries and comments. Maybe this book is one of the first reality books ever published?
A man-author-psychologist dying of cancer and reporting on his physical experiences, how he copes, his interactions with people, and his psychological and spiritual insights and procedures he discovers while going through he cancer experiences as close to the moment he dies, if that indeed is what happens to him?
When You Buy Strephon’s Book
Then when you buy the book, first available as a download ebook and then available when we get that part done, as an Amazon POD published book that is printed on demand.
Thus we can give a copy of the manuscript made ready that we have done, and still give a revised version, virtual and paper when these are done. The later additions will give my ending experiences, how I died that Stefania writes up quickly to add to and finish the book with, so as to then sell a complete version to any of you. When alive you might want that first version also with my alive signature. I will also sign as author some sticky labels that you put into your paper copy yourself.
Any time now you can start to buy the book, and this is appreciate because of our low money situation. However, the PayPal situation does not yet work well.
Stefania is active with their support team to find a real solution so that English speaking people do not get confronted with just a Dutch text which PayPal forces us to use because we live in the Netherlands. This policy has hurt us money-wise already because the stat sheet shows that there have been many clicks over the last month or two on the PayPal Button. What else could those clicks me.
We have written other possible procedures to try out to communicate to us money. If you really want a copy now and later when more complete and a third when really done as an ebook. You can ask for one on the blog and try and make that donation.
10 euro now for what we have now as an uncompleted ebook. 20 euro for a middle ebook edition.
30 euro for a completed ebook edition, and whatever price we set up then to POD publish in paper also. We do not guarantee getting a signature from Strephon because writing out signatures is difficult in my present condition, so I shall be selective. But let us now via the blog.
No emails for Strephon please, but Stefania can accept emails because she is staying alive after I die and has the energy and commitment for this and other services, like buying the book in whatever forms available.
All the best,