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What Is Cancer? September 20 2009

To bed at 11:20 and up at 5:30.

What is cancer?

I can only be intuitive here since I have symptoms of cancer that I and the doctors are dealing with. Here are the possibilities as of now that I have been experiencing.

Cancer is a great big tumor showing up in x-rays, growing to the extent of taking lung tissue away from its natural breathing and oxygenating function in my 75 year old body.

Cancer is something needing to be controlled in my body or its constrcting ability and inflammation ability produce difficult symptoms to handle: a lot of phlegm, coughing terribly, Fatigue in my body so I move slowly, so slowly. Lack of force and concentration so has to live a purposeful day. Despair at trying to live on a be a fully alive and functioning human being. Challenges to who I am, my identity image, at this immediate stage in life.

Cancer is a death signal that I am dying, that the body is failing its own existence and so I am in decline losing my own existence. It even seems to be producing psychological end points where I feel ‘what need, what purpose, to go on?’

• What are reasonable and realistic goals to go on, to keep living?

How much can I push with will power?

How much do I stay alive, even if the same drugs kill me eventually, using the drugs available, which do help at this point having mostly a comfortable day and night?

The Battle

It seems like there is a battle inside me between the cancer tumor and the drugs given to counteract its growth and taking over vital life functions. So how can I respond realistically also, using consciousness, to this big battle inside of me?

Homeopathy

Then there is homeopathy, who base seems to be in a spiritual realm of laws and principles, as if the hologram body needs nurturing and evoking along with interventions in the physical body.

Good And Evil

What can evoke the holographic body to indeed be dominant in this fight with the cancer? Indeed, a fundamental struggle between Good and Evil is at war in my body and soul.

My responsibility is again towards using my consciousness to be aware of this fundamental spiritual war inside of me and to make interventions, if and where possible to evoke the wholeness factor.

Wholeness

Wholeness is where all the parts work together to create a pattern and process of integrative functioning so that the body-mind-spirit works well together.

The fact that the cancer now exists in a big way can be interpreted by me and certain doctors that I am in a natural dying process happening now. This view would be easy to adapt because of how strong the suffering symptoms are to experience, especially when the symptoms are not being controlled effectively and I can do nothing but strongly suffer them.

Conscious Suicide

In the Netherlands there is even the choice to ask for and take some medical poison to end ones life based on the cancer patient saying the suffering is too much for me, I cannot function normally anymore in my day, I have diminished ability to do purposeful things, my existence no longer works for me and I just suffer. Thus the ego is given the right to make the final decision to live or die and when.

The Life Force In Contrast

However, there is also the Life Force at work at all times in us. If we have the option of consciously chosen suicide, or giving up the will and ability to live on another day, we do close the door to the life force, and we usually do it because we can’t stand the suffering, including the suffering of living an inadequate and purposeless day and night.

Are the nights worse than the days sometimes? Yes, they seem to be.

But the choice to die has not yet been made by me, either with conscious suicide or with just giving in to the symptoms of cancer and what they are doing to me right now.

• What is the difference between taking medical poison and just giving up psychologically and assuming the identity of a dying cancer patient?

I can’t see any.

In this existential moment I had a good night of sleep. Things are being regulated by both the regular doctors and the homeopathist. So something good, even wonderful, is happening during these present moments of existence.

Key Question

Thank God for this. Will it last? How long? Will it lead to better health and wholeness at work in me, for me, with me?

• What can we do but continue down the path that is currently working in a positive way for increased health and wholeness?

• One day better than the day before is exactly our goal.

I have known through directly suffering what it is to feel decline in the body due to the cancer acting out, combined with the medication effects used to control the cancer’s acting out effects.

The cancer is designed to make one suffer by upsetting natural body functions. Doctors know this and try and use medical interventions to limit the cancer acting out and taking over vital life force energy for its own use as an independent body living inside a bigger better body. Cancer may be called my stupid side, the side that wants to grow and prosper but also in its process kills the larger body it lives in.

• Cancer is an alive entity in one that needs a response or it becomes such a powerful adversary that it takes over the larger, natural body, me, and ruins it.

Task

How do we contact this cancer and relate to it, oppose it, even help defeat it? Is there some Great Key that locks the door on cancer, or stops its growth?

• Does cancer have a purpose for existing?

Is cancer’s purpose to kill the body and end the body’s life? We are talking my body here of course. Do I have still a chance to survive and regain functional wholeness so that I can live a natural and purposeful life yet and still for years even? What is the key to that?

The Key

Cancer seen and experienced symbolically is Death knocking at the Door of Life. Therefore the real isssue for the conscious me is death and dying happening now for some reason, and what in the freedom left to me am I doing about it?

• Psychologically, why am I in such a strong dying process now and the cancer is simply an extra organ, a death organ, put in place to do this natural function of killing the body and the existence consciousness in this body, me?

What do I have to do to say No to this death organ and its purpose to kill me at this time?

Actions To Take

Every action taken will either aid the cancer’s purpose to kill me, and kill me soon, or every action will be to evoke the healing wholeness force to further live with life vitality and functionality, doing still my strong purpose in the world.

Choice

• Do I have that choice? Am I building that kind of choice? Is this my function now to stay focused with and to try and realize, with help of course.

Two kinds of help: the help of the doctors. And then the help of my making conscious the actual process I am going through, and what I myself in attitude and choice can do about it in how I operate consciously.

If we can enact an archetypal drama at the core where it originates we do not necessarily have to act it out in the physical body and environment, do we? This position has worked before in other things. What is possible here?

We don’t know until we try, do we?

Performance Or Purpose

• It’s not a performance issue. That is egocentric ego trying to shine.
• It is a purpose issue. Do I consider my own life of strong enough purpose and effectiveness to carry out the greater purposes possible with my life still?

-Strephon

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