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Health Report September 29 2009

29 September 2009 3 Comments
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Health Report September 29 2009

This list for my new Steiner health doctor. At the bottom is what happened.

My health goals are:

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to stay alive and functioning at least until Stefania and I get married so she has her Netherlands rights if I die soon.
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Dr Adams (Malden) thought I was deteriorating fast a little over a week ago.

In a crisis how would I be handled? Dr Adams has arranged something with Dr de Lange at Dekkerswald lung clinic. I had one meeting with Dr de Lange where I think he said he would take me on but he said he is not a lung cancer specialist but a lung specialist of other diseases.

About the hospice how am I enrolled there? Is she the one doing it? Who applies? Who makes the decision when?

I have a lot of lethargy even without moving much at home. What causes this?

When I walk outside it is very slow. The day after taking the homeopathy I could walk faster but this condition did not seem to stay but maybe it is still better than before when I had really slowed down

I spit up a few blood clots starting about 4 days ago.

When I eat burping pressure builds to block the food: cottage cheese with linseed oil, blended avocado, chewed cucumber, water, almond butter, apple sauce. I can’t eat other foods now.

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To get well and functioning enough to live a normal and purposeful life. Keep driving a car? To go off the heavy medications as much as possible. Take Iscador of course. I am hopeful!
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I am in the midst of writing two books, so I have my computer and metal facilities. I also post daily to my blog at StrephonSays.com, including this cancer story as it is happening. And to keep relating to Stefania. She has had to spend a lot of time moving us to the new apartment the rental agency made us move into.

CURRENT MEDICATIONS

homeopathic remedies-when to I check again?

Which of the below do I continue now? Any new ones?

DEX 1.5 mg 3x for tumor inflammation———-6 left

TEMAZEPAM 1 day 2-3 pills 10 mg each  for sleeping———–12 left

OMEPRAZOL 1 day 20 mg counteract acid stomach———over 45 left

MELOXICAM 1 day 15 mg pain killer——–27 left

FUROSEMIDE 1 day 40 mg for edema———–22 left

PARACETAMOL 500 mg every 6 hrs helps kill pain ——-plenty over the counter

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I want to do Iscador treatment. But where do I go? I need to get my car brakes fixed as well.
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COMMENT AFTER VISITING THE NEW STEINER DOCTOR: DR M.

No hope for me, which I knew. But she offered herself and her practical nurse, and others of their team there to make it possible to die comfortably at home.

They will train Stefania to inject me with Iscador (mistletoe). She gave Stefania her specific tasks, like contacting Dr A from our former health doctors and to get the report from the specialist through him since he had the contact.

After Stefania and I were suitably sad but went to lunch at a nice place and had a toasty, orange juice and coffee. Seems I want to eat good food outside the house when I can. Yes, it was fun. But like the doctor said, it is part of the cancer process that I am so fatigued.

The medications keep me pretty much from pain, but for how long? Dr M continued me on my medications. She said she cannot take me off of them now.

Was she indicating that the other doctors had given me too much medication, or the wrong kind?

I think doctors deal simply in current reality: here is a person and his medications, which are part of him now. We’ll just deal with him as things are now and as the change in the future. She ordered the Iscador.

And emphasized to let go and be a receiver now. She asked first if I see myself as a giver or a receiver. I said of course I see myself as a giver.

So now to let go and receive. What does that take? A laugh and a gimble. How the mighty have fallen!

Dr M said there is not hope at getting well again. The cancer is too advanced, it seems. Does this depress me? Not yet. I have never predicted outcomes in dealing with all my dreamwork clients and students. I did not find predictions useful.

Of course for a doctor dealing in the physical body, maybe they are more experienced and can be definite there?

For me it is a question of psyche and body. Which is dominant in me now and is this just my Destiny Point I am facing?

Or am I able to still taste the archetypes at work in the spirit side of reality and so cause a reversal of this bodily cancer thing? Of course the archetypes don’t always act for life to go on but at least for a purposeful dying.

So far I have not encountered a method to change the cancer to non threatening. My dreams are not remarkable, like the Mammoth Dream was and is.

I have always worked with my own psyche and with other psyches just by the opening process which evoked choicemaking and submission on the part of the ego. Then the Greater Source can come in if it so chooses in some mysterious process of its own.

What do you think, any of you?

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3 Comments »

  • Arthur B. Treadway said:

    Dear Strephon,

    What do I think? (Too much, undoubtedly.)

    Your report from the visit to the Steiner doctor doesn’t surprise me. There’s no hope now. Well, a sensible doctor is not going to give you a pep talk to build up your hope. But that does not mean that you yourself should have no hope. Have whatever hope you can; that is your affair and I can’t see how it can hurt. Right now you have this purpose of living long enough for you and Stefania to marry. It might seem a small thing in the light of all your other hopes for purposeful activity, but it is a thankful and generous purpose, hence clearly a worthy purpose. And maybe you will be able to achieve it. Maybe you will be able to achieve even others of your many remaining purposes.

    Are you a giver or a receiver? BS. A sane person is not only a receiver or a giver, ever; no one can just inhale or just exhale, either. Saying thanks for the help one receives is also a kind of giving, especially when we really feel thankful. But maybe what the Dr. meant was to allow yourself to relax and receive whatever care you need and those around you can give, rather than hanging onto your ideas of self-sufficiency, independence, whatever. That would make good sense to me.

    My best wishes to you both,
    Arthur

    # 1 October 2009 at 11:24 AM
  • Jeremy said:

    Hi,

    I feel you had it right the other day, and now. Just live as long as you are alive. Just think life and even dying is living dying. That makes it more of a joy and adventure. Stay open to the wonder of all possibilities.

    You are helping me face the end, too. Even the stars “die”, whole galaxies and ultimately all galaxies, perhaps to form new ones.

    I thought about who I am (we are) when there is no memory, no I, as the Buddhists strive for – then this detachment is a kind of death – yet for them there is consciousness. Can we have consciousness without memory?

    Certainly we’d have to remember that one is conscious? Can this happen without remembering language?

    In death do we go unconscious without memory and become the basic building blocks of the planet all over again.

    Once I died in India – 40 years ago – and left my body – lifting high above the city of Mathura. Particles in a cloud went clear through my invisible body but I was conscious and thinking. What this because of an invisible connection to the still, stiff body below? Perhaps even without the heart beating, the brain still functioned, or was it that something that was me survived, and would have gone on to another place had I not willed myself back into the body and urged myself to Breath!

    There was a tsunami in Indonesia yesterday and many people who thought they were going to live for a long time suddenly died. I or anyone could suddenly drop off in a moment without preparation. It is important for all of us to prepare.

    It is said that our very last thoughts are the most important and determine where we go next. Perhaps I would think saying something like a mantra of Love, love, love to the pulse beat, making it a habit, so when the moment comes that will be the thought in the mind, and coupled with this to remember to follow the highest brightest light in the sky for that will according to the Tibetans take you to the best place.

    I sat and practiced shifting my consciousness from the body to the outline, to outside, and then as far away in 360 degrees as possible, then again in this cycle, seeing light pulsing with the pulse about 60 times a minute. It gives some practice and facility and diminishes fear.

    Love too is the greatest healer so it can’t at all hurt – it can help on all levels even the miraculous.

    Get happily married.

    Yours,

    Jeremy

    # 1 October 2009 at 4:43 PM
  • Strephon (author) said:

    Hi,

    The marriage to Stefania happened yesterday! And it adds a special soul dimension to our relationship, a mark in time. Our six years before this was the practice of our relating and that turned out good. Stefania and I handled things naturally and with consciousness and gave to each other with the guiding lights of love and consciousness.

    I was careful not to announce the event coming on the blog here because of the need to protect the marriage ceremony from any negative people, one especially who has showed herself to be so in the past.

    People who also live love, and not hurt, at Stefania’s work came because they wanted to come. We did not have to invite them.

    My Jewish friends from my former tennis life came and were very warm, so I had good ‘parents’ on hand! My own biological parents had refused this role with me, so now I had a healing.

    But more!

    When my friends left the restaurant we ate at afterward they met the new rabbi who just had born a baby son. They brought the rabbi in to give us greetings. This is a true synchronicity! For me the Orthodox rabbi represents my Jewish ancestors, so a Source is at work in my life, as before but also now.

    Many help with support, some with love and understanding. They don’t just witness, but are active with the support when they can be. It’s a beautiful synergy.

    One of the biggest helpers who leads the others has heart bypass surgery, in other words he almost died but came back. Thus he is an angel, or has an angel inside of him. I doubt if he knows the principle that once you have been at death’s gate and recover to live more this existence ‘your life is not your own.’

    That’s why I find these people may become real angels on earth. Unfortunately some become the devil’s worst, taking revenge, hurting people, being negative. Maybe they were shocked into permanent fear by some traumatic experience of their own, still not dealt with. But it still is not right to take revenge and deliberately hurt other people, is it?

    So Stefania’s and my marriage was yesterday, September 30, 2009, and a positive act of love and consciousness for us all.

    Thanks for your comments Jeremy. Yes, we got happily married and are married still. I think my cancer is a little worse today, or just acting up. But I reached the date we got early, even though being very weak. That is a big accomplishment not possible without a lot of will power on my part and a lot of caring and real support on the part of several others.

    Strephon

    # 1 October 2009 at 7:10 PM

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