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Talk To Me Please Says Strephon

Once when I was dating Carolyn Wread, now Frimkiss probably, years ago when I was twenty, I was including within their family. The father was a warm guy, what was his name? Spenser? His wife, what was her name, (blank) was dying of cancer. I went and visited her in the hospital. She was very thin. We just looked at each other for a few minutes and then I left. I visited her one more time. The Great Blankness stood between us. I carried this impression with me through so many years now, fifty and more.

So, please talk to me means that when someone, I, Strephon Kaplan-Williams, have cancer, you are going to see me differently, and (I) am going to see myself differently.

You are going to see me as damaged goods, and if you are positive about me also you are going to see me through your own fears: you won’t want to hurt me, so you will act, oh, ever so careful.

My regular commenters have left me. Is it just for the summer, or because our energy cycle has run its course?

At first this made me sad, until (I) realized (I) had dependency problems. Ours was a blog relationship, not an everyday real one of interaction and living life together as friends or maybe colleagues together.

Yet via the blog and some emails we did share real about me and about them as well. A few people are promising to visit me to make our relationships real. One has already, and (I) wrote about Arthur and (I).

Interesting side note: some of my closest emailing friends shared also they had encountered serious medical conditions themselves, but then said no more about their coping with it. Perhaps their medication controlled sickness had become a non-event for them and so they did not open that vulnerable side of themselves.

I, in contrast, was choosing to share my experience of serious illness from the inner to the outer.

Not that I want everyone to get seriously ill so they will share their vulnerability with me, or those they are close to, producing real intimacy.

Note how long term relaters often produce affairs so they can have breakthroughs in intimacy with their long term partners.

Sex is sex, like going to the toilet everyday. It’s the effects of sex with a person that we must deal with.

(I) means me but also how you see me.

What (I) am gaining insight on just recently, is the fact of my cancer diagnosis does change how (I) see myself and how those who relate to me see me.

Do you include how you see yourself, also? Do you include your own fears and feelings by choosing to relate to me or stop relating to me, even if only through this blog now, or also true if you visit me?

The other principle (I) am focused on now: In order to relate to someone else in real terms, process what they evoke in you and keep processing what someone evokes in you so as to purify yourself to being real and able to make contact with the other person in the moments of your meeting.

Some know this and choose to do similar. Others feel feelings of overwhelm and back off. They don’t want to open that bag of worms. Or they don’t want to process, to change themselves as they know themselves, including how they might live from their fears in life.

All seem to have their cut-off points of what they will and will not deal with.

As a cancer patient, recognize you can sometimes help a person relate to you again by sharing yourself your own intimacy issues, and encouraging the other to share their fears and feelings with you in the moment now of your meeting.

Understand the task, whatever side of the new relationship you are on?

Hope so …

related post

• Strephon I Am Affirmations
• Strephon's Cancer Health Report August 1, 2009
• $ 10 per year membership
• What Makes For A Strong Character Or Personality?
• Strephon's Photos