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Strephon’s Dream Having Sex New Lively Woman

Issues: … man on top … woman on the bottom … starting a new relationship … sex showing new vitality despite cancer … alternative medications positive … sex as indicator …

Dream

I have been dating as a younger man this lively, attractive woman who lives with her large family in a large house. Finally the day comes when she invites me into one of their rooms with a sun porch  and lies down for me to lie with her, which I do. It’s sunny out. The family does not have judgmental attitudes. She is free to make her own relationship decisions. This is sweet and lively and leads to our being naked and intercourse. Only she is very active and not well juiced and I am not completely hard, so what do we do with that? She wants to stop until we feel more ready. I want to continue but change our interaction, and tell her nicely that I want to be the one taking the initiative more, at least the first time, and that I really want to be with her sexually.

Maybe I wake up at this time, realizing the happiness of the dream, despite difficulties, to be welcomed into the arms of love and family through this intelligent, feeling and attractive woman.

1. The other important dynamic is that I grew up in a judgmental Christian culture. Sex is dirty, bad, and seducing each other is bad, and you as a person are bad if you are not rigidly controlled.

Thus still in older age I can have the cancer as a devil inside, judged bad, and myself judged bad, or judging myself bad, instead of I have cancer, I have bodily imbalances which I am working on to solve to get back to balanced health. The attitude needs looking at and changing. Don’t let the Christian past of those charity boarding schools ruin you now at the other end of your life.

Sleep Report from Last Night

I recognize in waking that my sleep pattern lately. I went to bed at midnight so groggy sleepy, even before the sleeping pill, then took the pill and fell asleep. And up again at 1:30 AM and to writing a blog entry, then a little research on the web and back to sleep at 4:30 AM and up again now at 6:30 AM. Total hours night sleep: 3.5 hours. Will take a nap today probably.

The physical change is that yesterday I did physical things like shopping and cooking together with Stefania a very nice fish meal with the new turbo cooker which does a good job without a lot of work, just the preparing fish and vegetables. It felt like a rough day in my body, and I almost despaired of getting well.

But we had bought some of the alternative treatment remedies and I took these, about eight capsules and pills.

• Maybe they have started their work and my erotic relational dream mirrors this new state of being? It’s quite possible.

Having sex with a lively and beautiful woman that you can talk to and likes you is so good in life. But who is the dominant one, at least sexually to start? We stopped and talked and wanted to have the sex again, but let it happen more slowly so that it is not desire but feelings that bring us completely together. This is how I see it in life also.

I’m not against both kinds of sex, but the cultural danger today is that men are to impersonal with their erections doing a job but at the emotional level not expressing relational male dynamics that the woman sometimes lets go to. This from observing lately the erotic videos on the web and TV as acted out examples often of how to do your sex these days if a young person.

With one woman in a short relationship when I lived in Norway I did say to her when we got going sexually, ‘No, no, I am the man. I am on top!’ She went for it, and when we broke up for other reasons she said she would miss our sex together and what she had learned about man on top and woman receiving the love and letting go to it. She did orgasm well from receiving my male kind of loving, as did I.

The point today is that I seem to have had a vitality dream, and I wake now feeling vital and I am glad.

But the further point is that I should dominate more the lethargy and depressed state of the cancer diagnosis and its symptoms. This I have started doing with the emotional shift written about a week ago now. That little thread of anger that people see me through the eyes of being a weak cancer victim, and that yes, at times I feel the weakness, but also at other times I feel a good vitality. Assert my vitality built up over the years without overdoing it and just acting high.

Sex is one expression of the Life Force. But now also be sure I express the Life Force in other ways, like this morning setting up the new espresso machine and almond butter and hard boiled eggs for a nice breakfast.

• Have purpose to what I do in the little things and in the big.

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