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Stop Identifying With Dying!

I myself am guilty of this. When the doctor told me the news that my chest x-ray showed a cancer tumor I took it objectively but of course did not know what this meant yet in terms of experiencing it.

But here’s the challenge, the big challenge!

An incident from a London Times blog article.

The reporter interviewed a number of cancer people dying, and gave statistics on how many in a survey were afraid of dying, afraid of death, or not afraid of either.

One woman’s picture was taken with a smile on her face playing with her dogs in the park, but with a caption she died six weeks later.

My God! Are they going to milk the dark cow to death?

Here I am a cancer person myself. I don’t think I need to know how others died.

I don’t think I need to go to a hospice for the dying soon, as one commentator implied.

True, it’s practical to make my new last will and testament, but why rush things?

It’s even true I could physically deteriorate quickly.

Am I going to physically deteriorate quickly?

Am I going to fight it?

Don’t identify with dying, is my saying right now.

My alternative therapist has gone on vacation for two weeks. I didn’t get her homeopathic remedies yet. No money yet, but coming. What if we lose her special list? No big deal for two weeks.

Yet, it’s this kind of stuff that makes me anxious.

The Times article interviewed these dying folks to get how they handled their dying.

What about living?

Maybe it is all wrong to emphasize talking about ones dying experiences.

Maybe it’s all wrong to have hospices?

What I want to say is simply this.

I am fully active in living life with the same purpose and relating that I had before the x-ray.

Yes, I have symptoms. I finally got a doctor who seems able to control with me current symptoms. Yes, the symptoms raw without helping medication were terrible. I had something, whether you call it cancer or not.

But don’t look at me as dying!

I thought for awhile I should look at myself as dying and express my reality experiences.

But hell! the point of my life has never been to enter a dying process.

My life has been lived as a sacrifice process, not a dying process.

I sold everything in California and moved to Europe to live and teach here. That was a sacrifice process, a death-rebirth process, not a dying process.

What feeds me is achieving my purpose in life, like writing consciousness books, of which the current Jesus novel is only the latest.

• It’s a terrible psychological trick to send so much dying energy my way with doctors and acquaintances, strangers, and friends.

I don’t like that one bit because that makes me identify with being a dying man myself.

Do you realize how heavy and debilitating that is?

Dying article:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article6789872.ece

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