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At Last A Decision And A Breakthrough!

I’m just back from the last new house doctor here in the Netherlands, and at last I have found what I so desperately needed.

And what is that, Strephon?

Yes, I am a bit high over it …

I needed a decisive doctor to be my expert in handling my cancer at the highest level they are capable of.

At last my tennis friend, Mark, said the best diagnostician he and his wife have used for twenty years here is Dr Adams. First I was assigned to Dr Jacobs who went on a long vacation. Then Dr Smid took me on and upped my medication to handle my symptoms. Then I got a half hour with Dr Adams just now because tennis friend, Mark highly recommended him.

I had my list of questions and symptoms as usual and used them well to remind me of the points to get across.

Here is the context.

I have resisted all these doctors because of some reason I was not aware of. At first after the x-rays showed a tumor they scheduled me in to take two days of tests, which I canceled, because that was going to be followed by invasive treatments of chemo and radiation and maybe surgery, I thought and the specialist doctor said.

But it was my choice, she added, and would answer my every question. Not quite true it turned out because when I asked her what would be the symptoms of my cancer getting worse she said if she told me it would frighten me, so I never was told by her.

See, this is just the trouble. The doctors want you to make informed decisions. It’s the in fad. I am sitting in first the waiting room and then the doctor’s office, after waiting almost an extra hour, not a good sign, but she takes time with me, but where does it lead to? I can’t figure it out. I am new to all this.

Now at last today the clarifying meeting. I have to move doctors because I move where I live, but the new Dr Adams will handle my case for a few weeks anyway.

I would give my impassioned observations and issues about my experiences with the cancer specialist and the first house doctor, and about the medications I was prescribed, and he would interpret my personal and medical issues as he heard them. Then I would agree because they were right on.

I kept pushing decision-making. I said that as a professional dreamwork psychologist working with people myself in my active career I did not ask the person, what would they like or want. I asked them to define their problems and issues as best they could and then I would enter into it, like with a nightmare, with them and we would resolve or heal the problem if we could.

• I was the expert. They were the one needing help.

But here with some of these other doctors it has been what do you want too much. I want to make informed decisions, yes, but I am not a doctor. I want a good doctor or two to make the treatment plan and to focus what is needed and then engage with me in doing something about it.

BREAKTHROUGH

The good Dr Adams then did the great focus. He said what is needed is that with the tumor in my lung and trachea, the breathing tube, what was needed is for the doctors to intervene as best they could so that does not develop more and then block my breathing and eating passages.

• That what was needed was the doctors to monitor the interior of my chest and do treatment that would not kill me but help me not be overcome right away by the cancer growth, if that is what it was coming to.

Was I willing to make a decision on this, was I willing to move forward with this? Dr Adams asked.

Yes, I said. You have recommended the doctors who are to follow my case and the specialist doctors to contact to make the diagnosis and maybe the treatment.

Now that I have new decisive male doctors I can put myself in competent hands, and if I die from their treatment I die, but maybe I live from it longer than I would if we did nothing and the cancer growth continued.

The BREAKTHROUGH is the doctor pinning down the immediate and central problem that is the focus and needs dealing with now.

I learned to do this in dreamwork as well with people, using their dreams to get to their central issues and problems and then doing process interventions to resolve their internal issues and patterns when possible.

Yes, I had a lot of success in doing this process work.

Yes, I know that when a suffering or concerned person came to me for a whole number of dream-sharing sessions they could often have breakthroughs and shifts in their internal patterns and attitudes that also moved to changes in behavior for the better, and also confirmation that those changes were in a positive direction because future dreams seemed to indicate this.

Now at the bodily level for myself I am asking for a similar approach. Dr Adams said that I should have the right doctor readily available to consult by phone or in person if symptoms change and interventions are necessary.

Right on! I say.

Now what about alternative treatments also. I have one such practitioner new to me and am taking her recommended medicaments. But who knows how good she is. She said she does not keep statistics. I trust her some because I have read about the alternative medicaments she asks me to take.

And if there is a cure in there of course we want to go for it.

At the moment I am experiencing difficulties in the body and so it is a great big physical problem that must now be tackled head on.

I made my decision today in Dr Adams office because I saw I no longer needed to be hesitant because I had at last found competent and active and decisive doctors to take my case.

This is the Great Breakthrough of the moment for me.

Whether real or imperfect I believe their efforts will be sincere and informed. I will put myself in their hands, but of course still wanting to know what they are doing and the risks to me, so that I am the final decider still what to go with or not.

I told Dr Adams at the end of our session upon leaving, whether I live or die out of the treatments, at least I can give myself to them so that confident experts can now handle my case.

It’s my life. I want to live in health further. I have more life to live and my writing projects, and my relating and everyday life. But if with the state of their art the doctors fail with me and I am dead from treatment or cancer, at least I have made the decisions possible that are available to me.

The other doctor of the morning, Dr Smid, had prostate cancer and surgery two years ago in a special clinic in Germany with a new less invasive procedure. He is happy with the results.

It feels like the cancer treatment movement in the world is hitting high gear and that a lot of competent experts are being created that will or are leading to advancements in the treatment of cancer.

Still the alternative treatment movement to deal with, but we shall be realistic there as well.

Strephon Kaplan-Williams

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