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Strephon I Am Affirmations

I am Strephon Williams
I am a consciousness
I live in a body now under stress
I am still the same person I was
My body is not the same body it was
I have cancer living in me
I have a great big tumor in my right lung

I am Strephon
I am having troubles
I feel like I am just coping
I feel like I have no where to turn to
I am learning how to get help from doctors
I am learning I have to do a lot for myself

Doctors are scarce
The country does not make enough doctors

I learned that I am scared
Scared to death is real for me
I feel like I am living at the edge

Define this edge you are living at, Strephon

I don’t know always what I can do and not do

I do know that some symptoms are heavy
I do know some symptoms I may not control
With the help of the doctors of course

I feel alone in this world now
I feel useless almost
I feel doctors are unclear what to do with me
Except maybe they watch me die
And try to meet my complaints

I feel that there is not God inside
That things are maybe helpless there
I feel that I don’t know if this is true
I feel the medications and the cancers
Cloud my judgments of myself

I am Strephon Williams
Struggling to find my present self
I feel like when a kid I lost my mommy
I feel like losing my life is losing my mommy

I feel like failing at life now is a new experience
I feel like a new experience is a new experience
And I feel limited in dealing with new experiences

I feel I have the will still to will on
I am Strephon Kaplan-Williams
I still have goals as a writer still

I am Strephon Williams
I am a cancer victim and that is scary
I don’t have hope, I have symptoms

I know I can be brave but will I be brave?
I have my values but will those values have me?
Will I fail at everything as I deteriorate?

Why am I not saying I will fight this thing?
Because I don’t feel that way, I guess

How can I go on?

How can I not go on?

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