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Original Daily Wisdom – Want And Choice

‘It’s not what you want, it’s what you choose in life that counts.’

A wise woman once said to me in training me in how to deal with disturbed teenagers, ‘Don’t ask them what they want, Strephon. They don’t know that. They are not developed enough yet to know both what they want and what is good for them.’

‘Yes, Dorothea,’ I replied, for I had much to ponder, being fairly young yet myself.

‘Give a young person three choices and say they have to choose one of them. They cannot not choose, say also.’

Immediately I had an effective tool for dealing with my acting out teenagers that I was in charge of. If I did not offer them choice between possibilities they would become angry and resistant, might even hit me. No one likes their opinions and values neglected, yet if you are not far enough along to know what your best choices are …?

In my latter years working with adults as a teacher and psychotherapist this advice has also applied well to adult situations, like which job should I choose? Or, if I have an affair, which I have the right to do, even if married, what will be the consequences on my present relating, and do I want that also?

‘It’s not what you want, it’s what you choose in life that counts.’

Would it not be better for you now to focus a lot more on the choices to be made in your life situations, than on what you want, whether you can get it our not?

The Ego Fallacy is to believe that meeting your ego wants is the best ego direction to go in life.

Ego desire can be so deceptive because it is so subjective. The ego has a natural bias towards the good, the beautiful, the powerful and the pleasurable.

Okay then, is life that way? Is life set up by the cosmic universe to meet the needs of your personal ego?

Might it be a hell of a lot better to achieve an objective ethics in life in which you practice choosing the best alternative out of what you have before you, regardless whether it satisfies a personal ego desire or not?

‘It’s not what you want, it’s what you choose in life that counts.’

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