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Dream of Little Things
Issues: … little children … reality … choices … fear limitations … choice to live real … choice to live positive … choice to live … cancer treatment ….
Playing with children. We have these little objects like cutouts in hard foam. One looks like a vitamin E pill. I tell the kids this is pussy. The name can be taken two ways of course as female genitals or a tiny cat. The kids say it back clearly without laughing. They are not afraid of language and naming of parts. Why should I be, except for the repressive adults not liking it and seeking to punish me for it.
COMMENT
The atmosphere I grew up in was one of condemnation of things sexual, making them hidden and wrong, and not to be done. Even today in the US they are against children seeing sexual things with their families, as if all sex is somehow wrong until you reach age 18, though you have developed genitals for at least four years already.
- Regarding me and my body, what governs my actions towards myself and cancer?
If I act in fear only, or fatalism, then I am letting myself be overcome by the negative side of life and the brain.
The doctor proposed sending me to the neurologist in doing chemo therapy where they give you radiation to prevent your having brain cancer, even though they say we cannot tell with our tests if you do. (now I start coughing).
CORE PRINCIPLES
What does a man live by?
- Scientific facts and medical treatments?
- Fundamental values?
- Core principles?
- Which are best for living a fulfilled life?
Living from core principles assures that you have a foundation on which to live your life and make your choices.
I have achieved certain things, including a certain amount of consciousness, from living from certain core principles.
I have suffered when I have got weak and traumatized, such as from this living in poverty thing and accepting help and attitudes from Ineke whose way was not the way of consciousness, but projection and strong judgmental attitudes.
This created weakness and diversion from the path. Now I should at least handle my affliction with strength and clarity. Weakness has always been the worse for me.
I like the children of my dream. They are fresh and strong and clear.
My best chance is to live like the dream children. Call things what they are and deal with them.
Never let weakness prevail if you don’t have to.
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Dear Strephon,
You regale us with some good questions, and your own honest answers. Little things, indeed! You never cease to provoke us to take another look, to thing again. That is teaching. So, yes, you have always been a friendly teacher to me. In the Work, the first line is work for and with oneself, the second for and with one’s Work companions, the third for and with one’s school. You were always one of my Work companions, though I did not know it, could not know it, because I had yet to go through many decades to realize it and to celebrate it.
No teacher can be perfect, because he must be human, and because we must learn to separate the Truth (the wheat) from the chaff (the teacher’s personality, ego structure). And this is so with those of our teachers who are companions in the Work. In fact, one looked for teachers for a long time,and found some, but then one found that teacher’s are naturally abundant, we just don’t pay attention to them, and one went on to look for the teacher in everyone and everything.
Yes, I too think your (or my) best chance is to live like the dream children. Call things what they are and deal with them. Calling things what they are, however, requires that you first have your attention on these things and actually perceive them reliably, but our attention is usually wandering around like an errant, lost household dog. So I’m not so concerned with finding principles to live by as to finding ways to train my attention to pay attention well. I’m pretty sure there’s no real contradiction or paradox there. The level of being of your dream children is what we want, but we cannot achieve it in practice, except through very long and difficult work on ourselves, with companions and with teachers in their schools. They are fresh and strong and clear, but simply put, we are not fresh, by any means, nor are we very strong (though we may foolishly and habitually imagine that we are) and it appears that things are becoming every day less clear. But the revisiting of those dream children may well give you the strength you seek. I’m not sure that certain kinds of weakness are not actually a relevant kind of strength.
Thank you for this little thing,
Arthur
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