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Pre 75 Birthday Meditation

As you probably know, I have been given a great big birthday present in being handed the x-ray diagnosis that I probably have a malignant tumor on my lungs and some lymph node cancer nearby.

This got me first passively agreeing to their two days of invasive testing to pin it down to what kind of cancer and what stage and so on.

Wish I could have scared my clients that way when I was active in doing in depth dreamwork with people over many years.

“Oh, it looks like from your dream-rays that you have forth stage suicide aperture-opening because of your tendency to want to be too close to God. See, it’s right there in your big dream imagery. You had better come in right away and we schedule ten dream reentry’s with your biggest dreams over the past year.”

Hey! I’m really getting into this! Why didn’t I think of this a lot earlier?

• The Jungian-Senoi Dream-Life Diagnostics with labels and stages!

Anyway …

The irony is on me. Maybe there was no way I could get juiced up enough about my 75th birthday and life without this Dark Side Present?

It is as it is.

My immediate response was to go on the big juice fast of 30 days. Now it is like 45 days I should do and I am willing.

I speak boldly because nothing terrible has happened to me yet. My belly is distended with fat, now realizing probably due to lower ability to metabolize well at my age. And the phlegm, white, that keeps draining on to my throat making me cough.

Anyway, what great shock value I have been given-the possible ending of my life now at age 75 unless I do something drastic, which is to get really healthy.

Also, I must have become lazy and not been changing or developing enough because I sure am active now. I did work with a few dreams every week, but when shock-producing things happen to us for those of us who are committed to consciousness and growth, these things help.

Years ago when active helping people it came to me to ask my students: when is the best time to hit a person? When they are down of course, because that is when the ego is likely to be most flexible.

Anyway …

Thanks to everyone already for your perspectives on what I am dealing with. The variety is wonderful. This enlarges my own perspective and choice-making context wonderfully.

While I can create perspective with your help in how each of you respond, I alone seem to be the one making choices-my job of course. An I suffer the major consequences of my choices and the fate coming my way.

So thanks to all of you, whom I have tried to write back individually, and also research on the web your suggestions.

Tomorrow is the birthday day. It’s not what I planned for but the amazing thing is that many of you have already dropped by to the party.

That’s great!

The day comes tomorrow, April 2, 2009. See what happens then.

Birthday Dreams

I should spend time in meditation and watch for a birthday dream. You never know what may come from dreamland. I don’t ask for a healing dream. The dream source sends me what it sends me. It has the superior wisdom to my little ego.

In dreams the gods speak while the little ego listens and realizes.

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