Home » Relationships Coaching

Women Energy And Love From A Man’s Point Of View

18 March 2009 One Comment
Hot:

Women Energy And Love From A Man’s Point Of View

Tags: women … love … energy … man’s point of view … men … bonding … real love … romanticism … fantasy … Internet romances … true love …

As recent background I want to talk about women energy as a perceptive and committed man sees his own situations and those of some other women he knows personally.

Let’s be frank. Let’s throw out romanticism and fantasy. Let’s see reality as it is, and hopefully the world is moving this way also.

As a young man I made my commitment and put my allegiance towards having central life relationships with certain women rather than men. Make this a life commitment. I would relate to certain women on an everyday level in honesty, intellectual sharing, and affection.

This contrasts with a lot of men and their relationships with women.

Some men don’t share their life issues with women at all but rely on other men to give them this feedback. Some are called homosexuals. Some are men who have a heterosexual sex life but still do not relate to women as their intellectual equals and a source of practical and inspirational advice about handling their life fulfillment.

Some men will use women for sexual release, having babies, but certainly not trust any woman to take care of money decisions with them, and certainly not let women advise them on personality issues and life decisions.

Is a homosexual one who has sex only with men? Or one who only shares intimacy and life decision making with men?

There are a lot of psychological homosexuals out there, whether they have sex with each other or not.

Enough said.

My point is to be honest in whom you share with and at what levels you share with someone else. I don’t say what is best to do.

I do say that members of either sex can be quite mixed up in what they relate to the opposite sex for.

Example: I recently dialogued with a woman in her forties who said she was in love with a man she never met except by emails to each other. I told her her feelings and relationship were fiction. Will she ever write with me again?

Adults don’t like being told by a psychologist that what they call love feelings are fiction. Of course I gave her examples from her own behavior she had told me about, plus from other women I knew.

Example: one woman I knew in Norway was having a secret affair with a married man there that the man’s wife did not know about. She said the man really loved her and not his wife, and that she really loved him as well.

Fantasy, all fantasy!

It’s so difficult to teach people to look at reality, to look at what they and the other person are actually doing and what is directly happening in experience.

As long as the husband does not tell his wife about the affair and make a choice between women, the love experience among humans is all fantasy. Don’t call it love, or you denigrate the term for humans.

I’m not against calling it fucking among humans, if that is what you are doing. But these women I talk to are calling their imaginings, including what they experience as feelings, love.

Love is a human experience between two people in which both persons share everything they can with each other in building a strong ongoing relationship together.

If you are not creating together the strongest bonding experience possible with a certain other person, then that is not human love, and you two are not in reality.

One woman in her forties communicates by email for a year and a half with another email writer who calls itself a man. Another woman has sex sometimes with a married man and calls that experience love on both their parts.

I suggested to this Norway woman that if she really wanted to follow through on what she was calling love she had better come clean and honor her own feelings for the guy, instead of passing by each other shopping in the local supermarket with nary a word spoken between them.

Well, this affair lady said they had to bring their relationship out into the open or end it. The husband was too weak to do so, the first test of true love.

No one can love fully in this life who is basically a coward who does not take full responsibility for his or her actions.

The man was a coward but the affair lady knew the wife in this small town and so revealed the affair to her. The two women went to fighting over the man. The husband did not leave his wife, thereby proving to the affair lady that she was not his true love after all and that maybe even he was not capable of true love with any woman.

The wife effectually separated from such a husband, playing hard to get, and thus got a commitment out of the man to give up the affair and settle back down with her.

Who wants such a man, anyway, or either of these two women?

Who wants to relate to someone who is not practicing fundamental honesty? Because if the person you relate to is not being fully honest with you, how then can you trust that what they say and do is real regarding you?

If you are being manipulated and misused, then you suffer loss of life and hope in love, don’t you?

It’s a mess, a potential for living a wasted life, if whom you try and love-relate with is deceptive and dishonest in behavior.

But then look at your own love feelings and question if they are truly real, or you just maintain they are to mask yourself in fantasy and keep your pride.

I once pursued a woman I thought interesting by her description of herself and her values on the Internet. She accepted my correspondence and thus connected. It turned out she and I had gone to the same Quaker boarding school at different times. I was able to recognize her energy, and she mine! This is amazing in itself.

She was also in correspondence with a guy from Florida while she was ending her fifteen years in Denmark and returning to America where she would send her teen-age daughter to the same boarding school we had both gone to. She and I met once at a conference in Denmark I was presenting at. She seemed solid and real.

However, she was pursuing the relationship started by email with this guy from Florida, and this is the point. She made it real.

She got them into phone conversations that cost money but made what they talked about more real. And she was going to Florida in her move from Denmark to meet and relate to this guy met on the Internet.

In contrast, this other woman I corresponded with by Internet has been corresponding with the ‘man’ at the other end for a year and a half and had no other contact developed with him. This is why I told her it was ‘fiction.’

Yes, it might be fun and involving of feelings and fantasies to have an intimate by-email-only relationship with some ‘voice’ at the other end. But don’t call it love, as this woman told me it was.

Love Is …

Love is reality. Love is a bonding experience in which two persons give themselves honestly and as fully as possible to each other so they share mutual life experience together, merging their lives into a common fate, and both growing personally because of the relationship.

I defy anyone to tell me they can have this type of relationship solely by email. Please prove me wrong in the spirit of ‘anything is possible.’ I doubt if you will.

That’s my point. Don’t waste your time on relationships that evoke fantasy and feeling but don’t ground themselves in real experiences together of the Now, so that you two, if possible, bond together in real terms in real experience.

Don’t call it love until love is real, because grounded in everyday experiences of growing sharing and intimacy.

My other point is to decide with whom you choose to have bonding experiences of true and honest sharing in life.

I have chosen to be with certain women this way when such is possible. I have not chosen to make honest and full life sharing with another man by via royale for the life journey.

That’s just me. I am clear on this. I will affirm and keep committed to that relationship which works according to my descriptions of love bonding as described above.

  • What will you do regarding intimacy bonding that is honest and real, and more than just a sexual experience?
  • What are you doing with sharing bonding life with another, and not just journeying alone through the pathways that is your existence here on earth?

related post

Share

One Comment »

  • Jeremy said:

    All agreed upon,

    Jeremy

    Love is something that grows as another body inside and all around – it deepens and deepens and intimately includes the other person – beyond thought and even touch – it becomes and stays – it is a warm and comforting space to live in – like a tree with roots and branches that always keep growing even in one’s sleep – it is devotion – it is trust without saying or even having to think about it – it is giving without thought as well and no concern for being paid back – but it comes back tenfold anyway – that’s the nature of love.

Leave your response!

You must be logged in to post a comment.