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The Marriage Celebration Attack

I suppose what is at stake is The Death Theme itself?

I have always considered that there is no answer to death except death itself.

This means of course that there is no answer to death!

Death is inevitable, hardly curious when it happens to oneself, I suppose, but of wary interest to those who surround a dying person, unless you are, certainly, a professional.

I have seen the sick and the dying in my capacity as a friend and as a ward hospital attendant at one period in my life.

It is not easy to open the closet one morning to get out a wet mop to handle a spill on the way to the bathroom. You open the locked closet expecting the routine equipment, maybe thinking also of a ward patient you can’t seem to find anywhere.

There he is, of course, he has ended his mental suffering with strips of torn sheet attached from his dangling neck to the light fixture wires overhead. Strange that he did not electrocute himself? He must have had the good sense to avoid the open ends of the electrified wires, for surely he needed the closet light still to tie his dastardly knots?

I never thought the religions had an answer to death with talks of saints and returning to the ancestors, or even if you lived a Christian life, going to heaven.

The Buddhists of California seems as well confused with their talk of reincarnations until you became enlightened and didn’t have to reincarnate anymore.

Thus when you die, so goes their doctrine, it is merely a transition you go through until your next reincarnation as a snake or more enlightened being than even the human species.

I exaggerate because, maybe, at my age of 74 I feel the need to take some absolute position regarding my own death, the better to face the painful recognitions of never doing certain important things again of what has been my life.

What is my life but what I mark out again as the important encounters, the decisions made, the achievements secure?

I must say in answer to my own questions that looking back I mark my “great events” as those that I would like to live again, maybe if not exactly as a repeat, but of a similar and moving nature.

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